


Crazy Cat Dudes Doesn't Have the Same Ring to It

by aitomation



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Absurd Numbers Of Pets, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Kaiju, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, It is not, M/M, Married Newmann, Mentions of Violence, Old Men Who Are Disgustingly In Love, The Gay Scientists Interlude, Trans Hermann Gottlieb, Trans Male Character, Trans Newton Geiszler, alas, but that isnt exactly relevant, chuck and raleigh have a healthy rivalry that occasionally involves fistfights, in a longform slow burn maleigh, this should just b like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-05 04:30:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15856233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aitomation/pseuds/aitomation
Summary: The weird guy that rescues Mako, Chuck, and Raleigh from getting in trouble with Beach Security has a lot of pets with his husband, apparently.





	Crazy Cat Dudes Doesn't Have the Same Ring to It

**Author's Note:**

> i started writing this bc i read an article abt catosaurus/pickles the 3ft cat but it turned into 2k ft sappy newmann but its cool cuz its the first newmann ive actually finished lmao,, @kyd_lyd on twitter came up w the design n name for marie purrie!! def check out their pacrim body mod au that's where i took her from

They could still hear the waves crashing into the shore, the sound barely muffled by the cottage walls. It almost drowned out the clinking and shuffling from the kitchen. Mako noticed a sleek black cat with big ears lounging in a patch of sunlight by the entryway. As she continued to look around the room at all the mismatched tchotchkes and decorations, the cat stretched and slunk across the carpet. Raleigh reached out a hand for it to sniff, and startled when the cat instead jumped into his lap. Across the room, Chuck scoffed. Mako rolled her eyes at him and gave Raleigh a tiny smile.

“You guys want straws?” their host yelled from the other room. They looked at each other, making vague gestures before Raleigh called back,

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” He shrugged even though Newt couldn’t see them. Mako chuckled at him. Raleigh absentmindedly stroked the cat in his lap.

“Oh my God that’s a fat ass cat,” Chuck said loudly. Raleigh looked at the cat in his lap in confusion, then turned to look at the entrance to the dining room, where Chuck and Mako were staring at a truly massive cat. The cat casually slunk into the room, clinging to the walls, and sniffed in the general direction of the guests. Newt came into the room behind it carrying a large plastic tray.

“I brought the drinks, and-hey! You met Godzilla.”

“Godzilla?” Mako prompted quietly. Newt passed her a clear cup with a bendy straw in it.

“Yeah, Godzilla! She’s mine. Nearly two feet long!” he continued as he circled the room, handing out mismatched cups-all plastic. “She’s a stray mutt I found in Boston, uh, after I got my Bachelors but before I got my first Doctorate.” He flopped gracelessly into the raggedy loveseat by the entryway. “Kinda blind now. Plus I have to take her to the vet like once a month cuz she’s so fuckin’ old. The one you've got over there is Marie Purrie.” Godzilla rubbed against Newt’s leg, then bit his cuffed pants leg. Newt chuckled to himself and leaned over to stroke her back. “You’re a good girl, aren’t you G?” he said to her, in that sappy voice people use on pets and babies.

“How many cats do you have?” Raleigh asked. Newt opened his mouth, then made a face and closed it. He squinted at a corner of the room. Raleigh took a drink of his soda to hide a chuckle.

“I thiiiiink, six? No, seven. Technically.”

“Seven, technically.” Chuck parroted monotonously.

“Yup! Technically seven.”

“And what do you mean by that?” Mako prompted.

“Oh, well, _I’ve_ only got two. Hermann had four, but one died. And since we moved in we’ve adopted two more so.” Newt shrugged. “I guess you could say I’ve got four? But together we have seven.”

“Who’s Hermann?” Chuck asked loudly. “You keep talkin about him. He lives here?”

“Oh, Hermann’s my husband!” Newt said cheerfully. “We’ve known each other for like, ever. But we’ve only been married about two years. We moved here right after we started dating.”

“You moved in together right off the bat?” Raleigh asked. He leaned forward as far as he could without jostling Marie. Newt smiled to himself, differently than he smiled before. This smile was private and special, they could tell.

“Yeah,” he murmured. Then, speaking up he continued, “We had known each other for a really long time, and we’d worked together for most of that time, like, constantly. So when we started dating and he got transferred here I thought like, ‘why not?’ yknow? And we lived happily ever after.”

“That’s sweet,” Mako said.

“Did you say ‘ _first_ Doctorate’? As in, more than one?” Newt sat up, flapping his free hand excitedly.

“Okay,” he said, putting his cup on the coffee table.

x

Newt was in the middle of describing some very complicated marine biology when loud, harsh barking very close by made everyone jump in their seats. Marie made a startled noise in Raleigh’s lap but quickly lost interest, laying her head on her crossed paws. Newt threw his hands in the air.

“Hermann’s home!” he yelled, hopping up and jogging for the door. Mako peered around the corner into the tiny foyer as the door creaked open. An excitable bulldog pushed into the house, pulling at its leash in its haste to lick all of Newt’s exposed skin, followed by a seemingly stoic German Shepherd, its tail wagging betraying its excitement. Behind them, grumpily shuffling into the house was a man probably not much older than Newt. He leaned heavily on an ornate cane, and wore a long parka despite the heat. Newt looked up from showering the dogs in kisses and pats to smile lovingly at Hermann.

“Welcome home, babe. We’ve got guests.”

“Lovely,” Hermann muttered, accent crisp and British. Mako raised an eyebrow. She then quickly looked away when Hermann turned to glance into the living area. Newt unhooked the dogs’ leashes and released them into the living room. The bulldog barreled into the room and right into Chuck’s legs.

“Hey there little guy,” they heard him say quietly. The dog propped his paws up on Chuck’s knees and eagerly accepted his pets. The Shepherd ran between the three of them sniffing intently, from their shoes up. Mako giggled quietly when she reached out to pet the Shepherd and it sniffed up her whole arm. Newt whistled shrilly from the kitchen and the dogs went racing back out again. The room felt heavy and slow without all their extra energy. Raleigh let out a puff of air into the new silence.

Hermann shuffled into the room then, no longer wearing the parka. He wore a faded Pink Floyd t-shirt under an offensively bright, partially-unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt. Both were tucked into high-waisted jeans. He flopped into the loveseat in much the same way Newt had earlier and propped his right leg on the coffee table, tucking his cane against the plush arm. Mako glanced at his sock-clad foot and valiantly stifled a chuckle at the smug alien design stitched into the grey background. Hermann took a deep breath and let himself relax into his seat.

“Who are you all then?” he asked. He sounded almost resigned. Raleigh shifted to sit up in his seat.

“I’m, uh, Raleigh. Beckett. This is, Chuck Hansen, and Mako Mori. Your husband invited us in after-”

“After I saved their asses from beach security,” Newt interrupted brightly. He danced into the room holding a glass novelty cup, in the shape of a skull, with a purple-striped straw sticking out of it. He passed it to Hermann, then wordlessly plopped on his lap. Hermann curled an arm around Newt’s waist, while cracking an eye open to level him with an unimpressed look.

“You truly do keep the best company,” he drawled. He took a sip out of the skull.

“Only the best for you, baby.”

“Did you at least get a shot at that arsehole, Baker?” Newt straightened, a fire in his eyes.

“No! It was that new guy, the, the shitty one with the bicep tattoo.” Newt gestured wildly as he haltingly described the guard. Hermann hummed, pursing his lips.

“Powell?”

“YEAH. Fuckin Powell.”

“So you subjected these children to your eccentricities out of spite, then?” Hermann asked, smirking.

“My ‘eccentricities’ Hermann,” Newt said, making air quotes, “are fuckin sweet. Plus, all your weird shit is in here too. They’re lucky I didn’t show them your rats.”

“You leave my rats out of this, Newton. They have done nothing wrong, ever.” Mako thought that was supposed to be a joke, but Hermann said it so dryly she couldn’t be sure.

“In their lives?” Newt continued without missing a beat.

“Precisely.” Hermann had the ghost of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. It was a joke then. Mako smiled to herself in victory. Hermann caught her eye around Newt’s shoulder and winked.

“What were you all doing, exactly, to get security’s attention?” Hermann asked the room at large. Chuck and Raleigh both shifted uncomfortably. Chuck stared resolutely out the front window. Mako smirked.

“Chuck and Raleigh were fighting,” she said helpfully.

“Oh?” Hermann prompted, eyebrows raised. Newt snickered behind his hands.

“While we were on a restricted section of the beach.” Hermann’s eyes flicked briefly to Chuck, then Raleigh. He smirked slightly.

“And what were you doing there?”

“Studying the tide pools,” Raleigh said quietly.

“That was your real motivation, wasn’t it darling?” Hermann murmured into Newt’s shoulder.

“Shut up,” Newt scoffed quietly.

“I was putting out a crab what snagged my dog,” Chuck said.

“And Raleigh fell into your fists?” Newt asked incredulously. Raleigh chuckled.

“I think it was mostly the other way around,” Mako stage-whispered, raising her hand to shield her mouth. Chuck squawked indignantly. He started to argue, but was interrupted by a loud yowl. Hermann brightened as a small, wrinkly, hairless cat strutted into the room, yowling the whole way. Newt shifted to lean over and swipe the cat off the floor.

“Hello darling,” Hermann murmured, scratching behind the cat’s uniquely shaped ears.

“This is Alan Purring,” Newt announced.

“He is an elf cat,” Hermann said proudly. Alan was kneading Hermann’s t-shirt roughly, rumbling like a car engine. “Very affectionate. A rescue.” Newt pouted and turned to look behind him at Mako and Raleigh.

“Hermann loves Alan more than me,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Oh that’s not true darling. I love you equally. Alan is just easier to deal with.” Newt stuck his tongue out at him. “Don’t be childish, _schatzi_. You’re proving my point.”

“That’s not fair,” Newt whined. “You know how much I love it when you call me that, fuck off.” That startled a laugh out of Mako. She tried to cover it with a cough but Newt groaned over her. “Now you’re turning the guests against me. You curr. You reprobate. You fuckin-” Hermann cut off his whining with a chaste kiss. Mako and Raleigh politely looked away.

“Are you going to sit in here calling me unimpressive names, or are you going to go give Mothy her insulin?” Hermann asked smugly.

“Oh shit, is it that late?” Newt asked, stumbling to his feet. He looked around for a clock, which Mako wasn’t surprised he couldn’t find.

“It is nearly six,” Mako told him, checking her phone. “5:52 specifically.”

“Shit. I gotta get back now,” Chuck said, also standing.

“We should head out too then.” Raleigh looked at Mako with a little smile. “Thank you for having us,” he called to Newt’s retreating back. “Thank you for having us,” he repeated to Hermann, who smirked.

“It was a pleasure. Do try to stay out of trouble. And forgive me for not showing you out.”

“Of course,” Mako said. She gave Hermann a slight bow and smiled at Alan Purring curled up on his lap.

The three of them piled into the entryway and reached around each other to put their shoes back on. Chuck elbowed Raleigh roughly to get his boots untangled. Raleigh scoffed at him. Mako expertly stepped around the two orange cats curled up on the welcome mat to double back toward the sliding door. Raleigh and Chuck trailed behind her, waving to Hermann as they passed.

Newt was just finishing with the needle when they came into the kitchen. He crossed the room to coax the dogs into their crates with treats.

“Sorry, we gotta lock em up before you open the door. They are much faster than me.”

“It’s no trouble,” Mako said, bowing from the shoulders up. Raleigh went over to help Newt with the locks and clasps. Once the dogs were locked up, Newt clapped his hands together.

“Alright, let’s get you guys outta here.” He unlocked the glass door and shoved it open harshly, then unlatched the screen and pushed it out. “There we go. Get goin,” he said lightheartedly.

Chuck left first, with a little nod and a quiet, “Thanks.” Then Raleigh came forward to give Newt a firm handshake and a clap on the shoulder.

“Thank you. For having us and for saving our asses.”

“It’s cool. Just don’t make a habit of needing saving. Those security guys already don’t like me.” Newt then shooed him out the door, into the yard. “Miss Mako. I hope your research goes well.”

“Thank you,” Mako said as she inched through the doorway. “I hope you two have a lovely evening.”

“We will.” Mako started across the yard, back toward the beach. “Hey!” Newt called after her. She half-turned to see him hanging partially out the back door, one hand latched on the screen. “You too!” He held up two fingers in the horns. Mako giggled and waved goodbye again. Then she turned and took off across the sand, toward the almost setting sun.

**Author's Note:**

> not mentioned in this fic r newts several lizards n snakes that live in their guest room


End file.
